I posted this picture on my http://www.facebook.com/CarolynGillCoaching, Facebook Coaching Page, and I got so many comments and Likes on it.  I realized there is something about beauty coming out of nowhere.  We all love the idea that from something that is so non-colorful, or otherwise bland, appears BEAUTY and COLOR.

I took this because I was sitting in the yard, sitting in a swing, and I saw a faint hint of color poking through this stack of wood.  Curious, I of course went over to find this beautiful moment.  Beautiful crocus flowers, showing their stuff.  Crocus have always been one of my favorite flowers.  When I lived in Oregon many years ago, I planted them everywhere.  Because they are ALWAYS the first flower that blooms after winter.  And I longed for the show of beautiful color after many grey days in Oregon’s winters.

And so it is here in Indiana, after long cold winters, little pretty flowers love to pop up out of nowhere.  Crocus, you show us that there really is life after a long grey periods of life.  You show us that you will push through any amount of muck, and yuck so you can eventually strut your stuff.  Crocus, you show us that even after barren seasons, you know how to Bloom.

I know for me, I feel like I’m a Crocus right now.  After years of barrenness on many levels, I am starting to bloom color again.  I am beginning to push through the muck, and the yuck, and I’m holding my ground, and I will continue to push through it all.  Thats what real life is all about; it really is learning to wait in the midst of the “winter” to allow beauty to spring forth.

I’m on a journey of growth, and I’m excited about re-launching my business very soon (watch for my new launch soon).  I’m excited to be writing again.  I’m excited to be developing some new programs in my coaching program.  I’m excited about offering group coaching, and tele-seminars, and tele-conferences, and more workshops, and more retreats (all this coming soon).  I am blooming.

I hope that whatever season you are in, you will embrace it, knowing that Spring does happen.  Crocus do bloom after many long and hard periods.

 Hang onto the Crocus, and learn from these beautiful little flowers.

Lately, the word SURRENDER keeps popping up.  It just appears.  It shows up in emails, art, discussions, experiences, and even in poems.  I have been feeling like God is speaking right at me, in a very audible voice.

I struggle with Surrender, we all struggle with Surrender.  Its the hardest thing to do, and yet, the easiest.  When we finally Surrender we can wave the white flag.  We are able to actually quit trying so hard.  The flag that says I can’t do this on my own, I need help and I am totally giving up this fight on my own.

I realized today that often I’m banging my head against the wall when I try to do something that is bigger than me.  There are times I need to just let it go, and surrender this thing.   I find there are some things I have no control over, or others that I have no business having control over.  And yet, to Surrender feels like somehow I have failed.  Ultimately I think I don’t trust the creator to take care of me. After all, I’m not  just throwing these things up to the sky, I am throwing them to a God that will take care of me,  love me, and walk right beside me.

This afternoon, I had a lovely experience.  As I wrestled with the word Surrender for many reasons, I opened up an email and I found this beautiful poem written by Debbie Ford, and it spoke loudly to me.  Maybe, you too, will feel the beauty in this poem.  It is powerful. Every line, every beautiful word is powerful.

May today, you embrace the lines in this poem that speak to you……

Drenched in Holiness

Dear God, Spirit, Divine Mother,

On this day I ask You to grant this request –

May I know who I am and what I am, every moment of every day

May I be a catalyst for light and love
and bring inspiration to those whose eyes I meet

May I have the strength to stand tall in the face of conflict,
and the courage to speak my voice, even when I’m scared

May I have the humility to follow my heart,
and the passion to live my Soul’s desires

May I seek to know the highest truth
and dismiss the gravitational pull of my lower self

May I embrace and love the totality of myself –
my darkness as well as my light

May I be brave enough to hear my heart –
to let it soften so that I may gracefully choose faith over fear

Today is my day to surrender anything that stands between
the sacredness of my humanity and my divinity

May I be drenched in my Holiness
and engulfed by Your love

May all else melt away

And so it is

—–Debbie Ford

I Hope you have a fabulous Monday, and an even better Week.  May the word SURRENDER slide into your heart, and sink deeply enough that you feel compelled to Surrender something you know you should.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Whew! Monday is here!!!

I missed last week.  The flu had visited my home in a big way.

This weekend I did something that has scared the pants off of me.  I am calling it my “Jumping off the Cliff” moment.  And I want to briefly share it with you.  Its rather personal, but, since when did that stop me from sharing my stories with you.

I signed up for an online intensive 30 day marketing class.  I don’t really have the money to do this. I mean I really don’t.

But here’s the deal.  I have hopes and dreams of my coaching business.  I need and want to reach FURTHER, BROADER, and BIGGER.  I believe in what I’ doing.  I’m sincerely absolutely focused and dedicated to my work.  I’ve been away for almost 2 years, because of a bad accident and it is time to get back to work full time.  I’m realizing that since I was away so long a lot has changed.  The internet has changed, the way marketing is done has changed, and the economy has changed.  I have realized that I have not been current enough with the changes. I keep  trying to learn things on my own, trying to figure it out, trying to tell myself I’ll slowly get there.  I didn’t want slow any longer. So…..I JUMPED.

I had done my research.  I had prayed.  I had given a lot of thought and time into knowing I needed to do something.  I was READY (in my mind). But I realized, that months had been going by, and I still hadn’t done a thing about what I knew in my heart I needed.  And then……the opportunity (this class) just kind of slapped me in the face, and it is exactly what I need and want.  I wasn’t ready $$$. I wasn’t totally ready with my time.  I thought I was ready to do this, and then all of a sudden it was like, Show Time.   I thought, and stressed, and prayed, and thought some more.  I had one hour left to sign up. And no matter how much my logic told me not to do this, I had NO CHOICE but to hit the PAY button. YIKES.  Total peace after I did it.  And absolutely beyond excited.  I really don’t know where it all of this will lead, but I knew in my heart it was time to Take the Leap, and JUMP OFF THE CLIFF.  So, Jump I did.

Here’s the deal.  What I know is that if we always wait for things to be perfect, it will never happen.  We really can and should trust ourselves if we have invested enough time in knowing ourselves.  We really can make decisions that make no sense, but you know in your heart they are right ones.  There comes a time when living in the Safe Zone is no longer acceptable, and you know you must MOVE forward.  There comes a time when you know you can’t live one more day without doing something that scares you to death.

My dreams are big.  So, I finally realized,  my actions must be bigger.

I am gonna keep you posted on this phase of my life.  I’m really excited.  And I’m really scared.  I decided to share it with you, because  I really feel like I want my life to be somewhat open.  I want you to know that I really do “practice what I’m preaching”.

I hope you aren’t living totally in the safe zone.  I hope you are gonna start stepping out too.  Do something that scares you to death.  Do it!!! Do that thing that you know in your heart you should and need to do.  Whatever it is.  Writing someone a forgiveness note.  Investing money into a project.   Losing that weight, and committing to a gym.  Quitting your job you can’t stand.  Offering mercy to someone you know you should.  Whatever it is.  Do it. There will be peace that follows.

Have a Great Monday.  Me?  Well, I’m off to Class, and I could NOT be happier.

 What a week I’ve been having.  First I got sick last week, then I washed my cell phone in the washing machine, and then Zion lost his Giraffy.  And, to be honest, if I had to pick which one was the hardest one for me to handle, I would say losing Giraffy.

Giraffy has been with Zion since he was born.  We would lay Giraffy by him, and he’d sleep with him, sit next to him, and was all present at all times.  From Day 1

Now as he has gotten older (by a month or two, ha), he has started grabbing for Giraffy on his own.  Always wanting his companion Giraffy by his side.

When we go on walks, he wants Giraffy in the stroller with him. At all times.

And, slowly it became apparent that Giraffy was definitely his security blanket.  Now, Zion sleeps with him, plays with him, talks to him at night in his crib, comforts him, and is with him ALL the time.

Funny, I didn’t even realize how many pictures I had of Giraffy until I started looking through all the pictures, and he’s in A LOT of pictures, yep Giraffy is one loved little Giraffy.

Ok, Ok, I realize you get the “picture”.  Literally and symbolically. He is ATTACHED to GIRAFFY.

Well, we went to Cracker Barrel for his one year Birthday dinner.  He likes the fire there.  He likes the little toys he can play with, and he loves the rocking chairs.  So, on a cold Indiana night we go to Cracker Barrel.

We get home, and there is no Giraffy.  We had taken him to see some baby chickens at Vanessa’s school first, and thought maybe we had left it there.  But it was too late to do anything about it.  We were home.  Now, Zion is screaming, and crying, and he literally can’t go to sleep without Giraffy.  Vanessa and I didn’t sleep all night feeling so badly for him.

The next morning, determined to find Giraffy, I got up , and backtracked all our steps from the night before.  Finally at the very end, Giraffy was waiting for me to pick him up at the counter up front.  I can’t tell you what a welcome site it was to see Giraffy.  I think Giraffy was as frightened as Zion was.

This is the homecoming picture of Zion getting Giraffy.  There were tears, and such welcome sighs.  I’m serious, it was actually REALLY touching.

I kind of felt like we must be a bit over dramatic about this whole thing.  I mean after all it is JUST a blanket.  Its a little giraffe.  And there are a lot of other world events that take a lot more priority than this blanket.  All night I wrestled with how upset I was about his losing his Giraffy.

I realized in my pondering in the wee hours, that WE ALL NEED GIRAFFY.  We all need our place of security, and we need to feel like we have comfort, and where it feels safe.  And of course, you know me, now I have all the world’s problems solved by thinking about Giraffy.  Because I’m thinking that if we weren’t so concerned about making sure that he grows out of Giraffy, and be concerned about making sure that he ALWAYS feels safe and comforted in a healthy way, we would all be a lot happier.

I have been thinking a lot about, how we as adults, find our own Giraffy’s.  And they are not healthy Giraffy’s.  Its our addiction to food, the internet, alcohol, sex, sports, etc. that give us our comfort that we so need and want to have.

What is your Giraffy?  What do you find brings you comfort that may not be the healthiest.

I love the work I do.  I love it when adult women come to me and they realize they want more out of life.  They want to live out their dreams, they want to find comfort in WHO they are, and not find comfort outside of that.

Maybe its time for you to find a NEW GIRAFFY.  A Real Giraffy.  A genuine way to care for yourself, that is not destructive, that is comforting, that is healthy and yet safe.

The place to start is with YOU.  Get to know YOU.  Create Bigger Dreams.  Challenge yourself in a good way.  Find fun in life again.  Find the things you want more of, and what you want less of. Begin to find security and comfort in YOURSELF, and stop looking outward to fill that void.

AND by all means, go out and buy yourself a real security blanket (I am talking a genuine blanket), as a reminder that its really this simple.  Love yourself, find comfort in a tiny blanket because really that is all you need.

And I also encourage you to explore a deep relationship with God, if you don’t have one.  I find that with this relationship it gives me a deeper security blanket that I could ever imagine.

Last week I was really sick.  I had the flu.  I haven’t had the flu in a long time.  I was in bed for over 3 days.  Just laying there, sleeping, and feeling sorry for myself.  Yuk.

The ONLY good part about the flu is when you are too sick to get up, but not that sick that you can’t enjoy some movies in bed. Or to j enjoy those extra couple hours of sleep.

I was in bed all weekend.  Monday came and I had a sprint of energy.  You know that place where you feel like you finally want to take a shower and CLEAN UP; thats always when you know you are finally getting better.  You want to get out of the sick bed.  So, I gathered all of my bedding, and I threw it all in one big pile on the bed and took it directly to the wash. Nothing like a clean bed after you have been sick.

I bet you were wondering why there was a washing machine up above.

And so now you are wondering, what in the world does a washing machine, sheets from the sick bed, and an IPhone all have in common?  Unfortunately they have much in common.

Yep, I did it.  The phone got thrown in with the wash.  It was on my bed in the morning, and I forgot about it.  So, it all got bundled together, and had a nice wash.  An hour later, I wondered where my phone was, and it took me about 5 seconds to remember, and low and behold, there was a nicely washed, and sadly dead phone.

I almost feel like its the manufacturer’s fault.  I mean they have all these instructions of what you should and shouldn’t do for the washing machine.  Surely, they should have a warning that says DO NOT PUT CELL PHONE IN THE WASHING MACHINE.

I always do crazy stuff. Always.  Always have and probably always will.  Yes, I can justify many of my seemingly crazy stuff.  Surely, after I have had the flu all weekend I had a good excuse as to why I did this.  But the truth is, when lots of friends heard what I had done, their comments were “thats such a CAROLYN MOVE”.  And I,  and everyone else knows exactly what that means.

I break things, I lose things, I spill things, and I trip.  When I was in high school,  I was in the quad, the big hangout space at lunch.  I came down a few stairs and I tripped and I fell al the way down.  Now that is embarrassing.  Not to mention that I am recovering from a bad fall from an attic over 2 years ago.  Again, I can justify why that happened, but it still happened to ME.

I can’t tell you how my whole life I thought I was a clutz, or I thought I was irresponsible, or just a little less than everyone else.  Because I was always doing these things.  As I have grown more mature (sounds better than older), I have come to see, first of all I have ADHD that was never really diagnosed when I was younger.  And secondly, I am FULL speed ahead, almost always. And thirdly, now I kind of find it endearing, even if no one else can appreciate this fine quality in me.

There is something so freeing about accepting who you are.  Accepting your flaws (if one would call this a flaw), and accept your gifts and talents as well.  I finally have embraced this side of me, the side that can appear a little whacky.  I have come to see that I love life. I laugh, I have high energy, and I am ME.

Its taken me years to like ME.  To disregard harsh words spoken to me in times past, or words that somehow made me feel less than.

I know you too must have words that linger in your mind.  Words that don’t feel good.  Words are so damaging.

Now, I’m not gonna lie, when I found that my phone had been washed and was dead, I freaked out because I have to replace it with a new one.  But I did NOT think I was weird, or careless, or irresponsible, or Less Than.  Now, I laugh it off, and I just say, onward and upward we go.

I hope you too can begin to accept your flaws right alongside your talents.  We all have areas that we need to work on, or that we rather not like.  But we need to embrace them, as they are still a part of us.  Fix the things you can, and accept those you can’t.

And hey, here’s the upside.  I get a new Iphone 4S coming in the mail anytime now.  Especially excited because a friend saw my need, and came to the rescue.  I didn’t even pay for it.

One other blessing, I had just downloaded all my recent pics onto my laptop.  So, I didn’t even lose my pictures.

I am learning more and more, to celebrate the good news, dwell on those things that are RIGHT with the situation, and toss out the rest.  I am ME.  Carolyn.  Full of Life.  Full of disasters, and Full of Love.  That’s ME.  That is who I am.

Now, tell me who YOU ARE.

I have many people ask me, “What in the world are you doing?”  ”Where are you living these days?”  Trust me when I say, I’d like to know myself. Ha.

I’m choosing to live like a gypsy right now.  Webster dictionary says a gypsy is anyone choosing an alternative lifestyle.  Bingo, thats me.  I Put all my stuff in storage 6 months ago,  and decided I wanted a new kind of adventure.  So, I coach my clients from my phone wherever I might be, and I go wherever I want to.

My daughter’s house is home base. And for the past 5 months I have had the joy and privilege of caring for Baby Zion while Vanessa works, and Mark is finishing his thesis.

 I came with two large suitcases, and everything I could cram into a couple of carry on suitcases.  And this is what it all looks like when I don’t clean my room.

Funny, that so many people are jealous that I am living like this. They think that living “free” must be a lot more fun. Well, anyone can have a messy room if they want.  Just junk it up, and throw it all on top of your bed.  (For all of you have asked and are wondering about the “brown” stuff in the jug, well it is my green tea  ”mix” that I make.  I start with a cup of green tea each morning, and I pour it in the jug, fill it with water, and the goal is to drink one gallon of water a day with green tea.  So, THAT is what it is, gross looking I know).

I guess the part that people envy is thinking that leaving all your “stuff” behind is more glamourous and more fun.  I have my moments I wonder, I won’t lie.  :)  There really is nothing glamourous about it, except that is an ADVENTURE. And for that, yes its I guess it is glamourous.

Of course I miss having my own home.  I miss my own big beautiful bed, with 4 posters, and big huge fluffy white down pillows.  I miss my white soft sheets, and I miss the things that make me feel comforted.  I miss my dog Buster.  At least he’s at Penny and Adam’s house, so I get to see him when I go to FL.  I miss the independence that having your own home allows you.  But, I want this right now.

I have brought many things on my journey that are sacred to me. (I’ll share those later) And its amazing how just a few things, things that have much sentimental value to me, cause me to feel right at home.

Of course I don’t go anywhere without having lots of marketing material handy.  So, I am always ready for my workshop, or retreat that I’m putting on.

I dont’ want to sound like I don’t like my room at Vanessa’s house, because I really do. I will show you pics of my room cleaned up in a couple of days.

Here’s the deal.  I had just got some new storage containers to put under the bed, and also a new clothes rack to hang up some things.  So it looks worse than it actually does all the time.

Its so amazing to me that even with just a tiny bit of things that I have with me, just two suitcases full, it is still ALOT of stuff.  No matter how little I have, I still feel like I have more than a lot of people in this world.  I don’t have with me even 1/100th of what I own , but TRUTH is, I have all I need.  I get to be living a unique life.  I get to be with Vanessa and Mark, and MOSTLY I get to be with this little guy on a daily basis.

Yes, I really do have all I need and want.

Yet again, life is all about perspective.  To some, it may appear my life is adventurous and they want more adventure in their lives.  To others my life may look like a chaotic, jumbled mess.  To others they may think I’m crazy, and I should get a “real job”.  And then there are others who encourage me, because they know I’m pursuing my life long calling and dream of writing a book, owning a business that allows me to be with all my family across the country, and doing what I do best.  What I do best is encourage women to ignite and pursue their own dreams and passions.  I must be an example.  So, I’m living a gypsy life right now.

All I know is that I’m really loving living my life this way at this time.

So, if you feel you want more adventure in your life……..well, I say dump a few clothes on your bed, throw some shoes around your room, put a good movie on, and just live like a gypsy for one night. But, before you go to bed make sure you look at the pictures of your family, the art pieces from your grandkids, and the special gifts given to you by your children.  Because it is these things that will truly make you feel like you have everything you need.  A soft bed, food, wonderful family, good friends, and a job you love. Ultimately, do we really need anything else.

I hope your life is being filled with the things you hope and dream about.  If not, Call Me, Let me help mentor you.

]]> http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/what-does-a-gypsy-look-like/feed/ 10 http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/real-life-is-better-than-the-fairy-tales/ http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/real-life-is-better-than-the-fairy-tales/#comments Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:59:58 +0000 carolyn http://carolyngillcoaching.com/?p=2300  

Happy Monday!

There are  times when you are actually quite glad that its Monday; and the weekend is over.

I have spent 3 days in bed.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Wow, I haven’t been this sick in a long time.  Chills, migraines, body aches, and stomach upset.  Its been a rough weekend.

Although today was kind of fun because I was able to catch up on all my Downton Abbey shows I haven’t seen.  So tonight I’m ready to watch the season finale.  I really don’t like season finale’s.  They actually make me nervous. You are so excited to see what the cliff hanger is, but then you realize that you really are left hanging.  In mid air, you just wait.  You wait for months for a new season that won’t begin until the Fall.

I don’t watch much t.v.,  so for me to invest in a show it must be good.  It has been kind of fun for me to watch this show. (If you haven’t watched it, you simply must.  It really is fabulous)

Its an interesting time being sick with a baby in the house.  I’m kind of  left to my own.  No one wants to catch what I have, and we certainly don’t want the baby to get it either.  So, I’m in a quarantine of sorts.  Hard for me to not get to kiss my little Z.

The picture up above makes me laugh in a way.  Its such a beautiful picture, so serene, lovely bed, with beautiful white sheets, rose petals and a lovely cup of tea.  Looks like the leaves are still floating on the top. I really wanted this “picture” today, while I am laying here sick.  I wanted to feel like I could just relax in such a beautiful little setting.

Here at Vanessa’s house there are lovely tea sets for me to choose from.  There are many teas for me to select to drink.  Its all primed.  I even have a beautiful rose that Mark, my son in law gave me for Valentine’s day, and its still lovely.  So, I’ve been trying to create a healing mood to my room.  But here’s the problem, the picture doesn’t really match what the real life looks like for me.  My room is a mess, its pretty small, nice but small.  There’s a lot of life crammed in these 4 walls of mine. I’ve got clothes on the floor, and lots of books and papers laying around.

But as I lay here I’m Enjoying the beautiful rose, and trying to enjoy my cup of tea.  Vanessa finally comes in the room, with baby in hand, after many days of not coming in here at all.  This is how the “picture” went:  I dont’ feel well, and Baby Zion is screaming because he wants to see me. He actually throws a fit because he wants to play with me, and Vanessa takes him out.   On the way out the door, he grabs the rose thats on my dresser, and he pulls it so hard that he knocks the rose down. While the rose is going down, so is the vase and it all breaks on the floor.  Smash, broken glass everywhere. Yes, there are rose petals like the picture above, except they are on the floor amidst the broken glass.  Zion leaves with no kiss, and I’m stuck with glass on the floor until the “maid” can come clean it up. Ha.

So much for the beautiful image I had in my mind.  But its real life. Its real people, real flu, real babies, real flowers, real vases, and real LOVE.

A long time ago someone told me this statement:  “Real lives are better than Fairy Tales”.  I did not believe it at the time. I was in a dark place in my life and I just wanted to run off like Cinderella.

I have come to embrace that real LIFE really is better than fairy tales because it has feeling.  It has truth.  It has joy and sadness. It can be felt, even when the feelings at times may be difficult.  But most importantly real life has little chubby baby hands that hold rose petals.

Much of life doesn’t always turn out like we think it will in the “picture in our mind”.  But once we accept what our life is, even in the tough times, I believe we will see that it is better than the alternative.  Fairy Tales are fake, they are not real.

I’m now investing in what is real.  In what is truth.  In what has power to change me from the inside out.

I hope if you are not still waiting for your fairy tale to come true, that you will EMBRACE your life in a new way.  Don’t wait for someone to save you.  Don’t wait for the happy ending to just happen.  Make your own happy ending.  Embrace this day as a new day, and as a new opportunity to make life what you hope it to be. Because its the only one you have.

“Real life really is better than the Fairy Tales”

Married or Single, there’s something in here for YOU

I find myself this year, pretty much in the same happy space.  Enjoying being content with being single, and enjoying the fact that Valentine’s Day  will not make or break my heart.  The only difference this year, is that I ACTUALLY have a date.  I will be taking  Baby Zion my grandson to breakfast.  What more could a girl want.

Today is a GREAT day to just tell those you love, you love them.  It doesn’t have to be Hallmark, it doesn’t have to be a romantic person, just tell someone you love them.

Hope you enjoy this post.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Oh Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, how I have loved you and hated you.

Do you remember Valentine’s Day as a kid?  You could hardly wait to get to school and do the Valentine “swap”.  We used to make our little valentine holders the day before.  This usually consisted of construction paper, paints and crayons.  We’d take the construction paper, fold it in half to make a pocket, glue or staple it, and then we would decorate it.  My favorite was when we took red construction paper strips and weaved them through the white paper making a “basket” kind of look.  Then we’d hang them up on the wall, and we would do the exchange.  As I got older, I got even more excited.  Because I was always secretly hoping the boy I had a crush on would be putting a little extra something special on my card.  Maybe one of those hearts that said “I love you”.  Oh, it was such fun, especially if it turned out I like I had hoped it would.  And P.S., it seldom did.

I’m not sure there is any holiday that brings such romantic emotion to the human soul as Valentine’s Day.   If you are in a relationship,  your partner (i.e., spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend) is supposed to shower you with their love and let you know EXACTLY how they feel about you.  If you are single, you cry because you don’t “got nobody to love”.  It’s all about what you think you’re gonna get for Valentine’s Day. And  I would guess that there will be a whole bunch of people disappointed today.

This day has somehow turned into a RECEIVING day, and not a GIVING day.  We spend all our time thinking about what we are going to Get.  Is “he” going to remember?  Is “he” going to live up to my expectation?  Am I going to get to be the girl in the office who gets the big bouquet of roses?  Truth is, it is a Lovely Day to tell others how you feel about them.  But, it in no way should really have any major impact on the emotional state of our being.

I think I’ve done Valentine’s Day every way possible.  I’ve been showered with gifts and I’ve cried for hours for lack of said gifts.  I’ve had flowers and I have had NO flowers.  I’ve been “wined and dined”, and I’ve been forgotten.  I have felt loved, and I have felt rejected.  In the last 10 years I think I could write the book about Valentine’s Day.   It seems there has always been some romantic attachment going on , whether it be good or bad, hopeful or sad, real or imaginary, there’s always been some guy to think about.

This year I like Valentine’s Day in a new way.  I’m not waiting to see what I get.  This year I was so excited to make Kai gluten free cookies.  I loved tucking Austin’s Valentine’s card in his lunch along with his favorite Dark Chocolate.  I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to send Zion (the new grandson soon to be born),  lots of cute socks with puppy dog tales, and blue and white stripes.  Oh, and I finally remembered to buy a card for my mom out in CA., and for the first year I think she just might get it on time.  It’s not that I don’t give little gifts every year, because I do.  But this year, there is NO anticipation of what I might receive from that special someone, and it feels liberating.     This year, it’s ENOUGH, more than enough to know that I am giving and that’s all I need.

I have to be honest though, I did buy myself something.   I’m no longer waiting for someone else to make me happy;  I have the ability and the strength to be grateful for who I am,  and I am grateful and happy to be Alive.

I bought MYSELF some flowers. Don’t get me wrong, I hope someday that I will get flowers sent to me again.  But,   I don’t want to spend any more hours waiting for Mr. Right, while I’m with Mr. Wrong.

Be of Good Cheer.  This day does not tell you who you are.  It does not even mean that you are not loved, even if it feels you are not. I know there is often hurt attached.  I know it is hurtful to watch someone you love be with someone else. I know that you may wish you were in a relationship.  I know that it can feel lonely. But, I also know that we have the power to love ourselves with a love that we have never known.  I know that the real love begins with us.  And this is a perfect day to begin to know who you are inside out.

If you are in a relationship and you feel neglected, lonely, or miserable maybe today would be a good day to stop thinking about what you are NOT getting, and write down some things that you ARE getting.  You might be surprised to find more things that you are getting than you remember.  If I could do one thing over in my marriage of 23 years, I have to be vulnerable and say………I wish I had spent more time tallying up the good things instead of all the bad things my partner did. Maybe your partner is waiting to see what YOU are going to give him/her.  Maybe you need to be the giver today and NOT just the receiver.

Jesus said “love your neighbor as yourself”.  I believe it so strongly.  Love who you are.  Don’t wait for someone to tell you how great you are.  Believe it for YOU.  Own it for YOU.  And NOW…….

Now Go out and buy yourself some flowers if you haven’t received any.

or,

take your baby grandson to breakfast,

or,

get a pedicure, manicure, or anything else that YOU feel you need today.

or,

Maybe you can be lucky enough to sit home, get the remote, and watch a great movie.

With love,

Carolyn

I am hoping by now, if you are following me, you are beginning to see that EVERY Monday I greet you with TEA TIME.  Every Monday, I’m showing up in your inbox as a NEW POST from CAROLYN’S TEA TIME.

I am enjoying starting my Monday mornings by greeting you, and sharing a few moments with you. I sit here at my laptop drinking a warm cup of tea.  Today I am drinking Chai Tea.  I boil the water with an electric tea pot, put two bags of TAZO Organic Chai in my cup of choice (which varies every day), and I then add about 1/4 cup of Half/Half (yes you heard that correctly), and 2 Splenda.  Yeah, I know, its quite a treat.  My absolute favorite, is English Breakfast or Tetley Black British Blend.  I get such joy when my kids drink my Tetley tea, their first sip, and they always say “oh, that feels like home”.  No matter how they try to make the same, they say it never turns out like I make it.  That brings me more joy than you can know.

Now, that is a pretty simple JOY wouldn’t you say.  That my kids drink my tea, and it makes them feel at home. I do LOVE the simple pleasures of life.

My Monday’s are like everybody elses’s Monday.  I laugh sometimes, and I think that my readers must, at times, think I’m Miss Polly Anna.  Always trying to look at the bright side of things.  I’m the one always saying Be of Good Cheer today is a good day.  Choose how your want your day to be.  And yet, in the end I struggle the same as you, as we all do.  We look at our day and we feel tired from the weekend, or we feel like its just another week of the grind.

After 2 1/2  years of being laid up with multiple breaks in my leg, after a bad accident , I know about pain, I know about disappointment and feeling lost, and I also know when its ok to to NOT be in a good mood.  I know when its ok to Choose to grieve your life, or to be in a “funk”.  I call those times, (when we are struggling with life in a harsh way) free passes.  That’s a whole new blog about the times that I believe we NEED to be in a funk, we NEED to be sad, we NEED to own our own circumstances and be sad and frustrated with them.

Today, this Monday Morning, I am talking about us CHOOSING how we want our day to go.  I’m talking about how we can really ultimately CHOOSE how we want our life to go, one day at a time.  I am NOT Miss PollyAnna by any means.  And I am NOT always cheerful.  But, I AM a woman that was changed forever from a bad accident, and now view all the days differently.

I am a woman, whom now knows, that the greatest JOY I can receive is having my children drink tea from a mug and say “it tastes like home”.   And I do know that today is a new day.  Its Monday.  The beginning of a new work week, or maybe its the ending of a work week.  Mondays always have a certain bad rap.  Really today should be NO different than any other day.

Its a NEW DAY.  And I get to CHOOSE how I want it to go down.

Today, I’m drinking my tea, remembering all the mornings, the afternoons, and the precious times I have shared tea with friends and family.  I am loving the people in my life.  Thats how I want to start my Monday.  How do you want to start yours?

If you are reading this, and its Tuesday, all the better.  You can read all of this, and insert the EXACT same message.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday………its all the same.  CHOOSE the way you want your day to go, and be Glad in it.  ”Rejoice, and again I say Rejoice”.

Happy Monday,

Carolyn

HAPPY MONDAY!

I’m wondering how your weekend was?  This was a big weekend for all of the Super Bowl fans.  Lots of parties, lots of activity, and I’m thinking that you might be a bit tired today.  

Mondays can be tough, especially after a Super Bowl weekend.  So….what is the remedy to this?

Well, in my experience here are the options?

1.  Complain

2. Complain even more

3.  Wish the day away

4.  Complain a bit more

5.  Go back to bed and call in sick

6.  Be in a bad mood all day

7.  Have a goal to just somehow make it through the day

8.  Eat comfort good (like you didn’t eat enough yesterday?)

9.  Dream about a vacation

OR

 #10–THE BEST ANSWER

JUST BE GLAD YOU AREN’T TOM BRADY TODAY

The funny thing is that I don’t even follow football, so all my friends that are reading this are shocked that I even know his name, because a year ago I didn’t.

Life is all about perspective isn’t it?  I certainly hope that even Tom Brady will be able to see that this can be a good day if he chooses to make it one. In the midst of being tired, or discouraged, or totally wiped out, we can still choose to make our day better by choosing something good.

For me, this morning, I sat and pondered God. I thought about God.  I thought about how hard it is to figure out who this God is.  Who is it that I pray to.  I don’t have answers. But I do, always, have a sense of peace and calmness that, somehow, reaches deep inside me when I meditate on God.

I pray that this Monday will be more than a BAD DAY for you.  I pray that somehow in the midst of your Monday blues, you will ponder a God that loves you.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world”.

John 16:33