I have many people ask me, “What in the world are you doing?”  ”Where are you living these days?”  Trust me when I say, I’d like to know myself. Ha.

I’m choosing to live like a gypsy right now.  Webster dictionary says a gypsy is anyone choosing an alternative lifestyle.  Bingo, thats me.  I Put all my stuff in storage 6 months ago,  and decided I wanted a new kind of adventure.  So, I coach my clients from my phone wherever I might be, and I go wherever I want to.

My daughter’s house is home base. And for the past 5 months I have had the joy and privilege of caring for Baby Zion while Vanessa works, and Mark is finishing his thesis.

 I came with two large suitcases, and everything I could cram into a couple of carry on suitcases.  And this is what it all looks like when I don’t clean my room.

Funny, that so many people are jealous that I am living like this. They think that living “free” must be a lot more fun. Well, anyone can have a messy room if they want.  Just junk it up, and throw it all on top of your bed.  (For all of you have asked and are wondering about the “brown” stuff in the jug, well it is my green tea  ”mix” that I make.  I start with a cup of green tea each morning, and I pour it in the jug, fill it with water, and the goal is to drink one gallon of water a day with green tea.  So, THAT is what it is, gross looking I know).

I guess the part that people envy is thinking that leaving all your “stuff” behind is more glamourous and more fun.  I have my moments I wonder, I won’t lie.  :)  There really is nothing glamourous about it, except that is an ADVENTURE. And for that, yes its I guess it is glamourous.

Of course I miss having my own home.  I miss my own big beautiful bed, with 4 posters, and big huge fluffy white down pillows.  I miss my white soft sheets, and I miss the things that make me feel comforted.  I miss my dog Buster.  At least he’s at Penny and Adam’s house, so I get to see him when I go to FL.  I miss the independence that having your own home allows you.  But, I want this right now.

I have brought many things on my journey that are sacred to me. (I’ll share those later) And its amazing how just a few things, things that have much sentimental value to me, cause me to feel right at home.

Of course I don’t go anywhere without having lots of marketing material handy.  So, I am always ready for my workshop, or retreat that I’m putting on.

I dont’ want to sound like I don’t like my room at Vanessa’s house, because I really do. I will show you pics of my room cleaned up in a couple of days.

Here’s the deal.  I had just got some new storage containers to put under the bed, and also a new clothes rack to hang up some things.  So it looks worse than it actually does all the time.

Its so amazing to me that even with just a tiny bit of things that I have with me, just two suitcases full, it is still ALOT of stuff.  No matter how little I have, I still feel like I have more than a lot of people in this world.  I don’t have with me even 1/100th of what I own , but TRUTH is, I have all I need.  I get to be living a unique life.  I get to be with Vanessa and Mark, and MOSTLY I get to be with this little guy on a daily basis.

Yes, I really do have all I need and want.

Yet again, life is all about perspective.  To some, it may appear my life is adventurous and they want more adventure in their lives.  To others my life may look like a chaotic, jumbled mess.  To others they may think I’m crazy, and I should get a “real job”.  And then there are others who encourage me, because they know I’m pursuing my life long calling and dream of writing a book, owning a business that allows me to be with all my family across the country, and doing what I do best.  What I do best is encourage women to ignite and pursue their own dreams and passions.  I must be an example.  So, I’m living a gypsy life right now.

All I know is that I’m really loving living my life this way at this time.

So, if you feel you want more adventure in your life……..well, I say dump a few clothes on your bed, throw some shoes around your room, put a good movie on, and just live like a gypsy for one night. But, before you go to bed make sure you look at the pictures of your family, the art pieces from your grandkids, and the special gifts given to you by your children.  Because it is these things that will truly make you feel like you have everything you need.  A soft bed, food, wonderful family, good friends, and a job you love. Ultimately, do we really need anything else.

I hope your life is being filled with the things you hope and dream about.  If not, Call Me, Let me help mentor you.

]]> http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/what-does-a-gypsy-look-like/feed/ 10 http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/real-life-is-better-than-the-fairy-tales/ http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/02/real-life-is-better-than-the-fairy-tales/#comments Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:59:58 +0000 carolyn http://carolyngillcoaching.com/?p=2300  

Happy Monday!

There are  times when you are actually quite glad that its Monday; and the weekend is over.

I have spent 3 days in bed.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.  Wow, I haven’t been this sick in a long time.  Chills, migraines, body aches, and stomach upset.  Its been a rough weekend.

Although today was kind of fun because I was able to catch up on all my Downton Abbey shows I haven’t seen.  So tonight I’m ready to watch the season finale.  I really don’t like season finale’s.  They actually make me nervous. You are so excited to see what the cliff hanger is, but then you realize that you really are left hanging.  In mid air, you just wait.  You wait for months for a new season that won’t begin until the Fall.

I don’t watch much t.v.,  so for me to invest in a show it must be good.  It has been kind of fun for me to watch this show. (If you haven’t watched it, you simply must.  It really is fabulous)

Its an interesting time being sick with a baby in the house.  I’m kind of  left to my own.  No one wants to catch what I have, and we certainly don’t want the baby to get it either.  So, I’m in a quarantine of sorts.  Hard for me to not get to kiss my little Z.

The picture up above makes me laugh in a way.  Its such a beautiful picture, so serene, lovely bed, with beautiful white sheets, rose petals and a lovely cup of tea.  Looks like the leaves are still floating on the top. I really wanted this “picture” today, while I am laying here sick.  I wanted to feel like I could just relax in such a beautiful little setting.

Here at Vanessa’s house there are lovely tea sets for me to choose from.  There are many teas for me to select to drink.  Its all primed.  I even have a beautiful rose that Mark, my son in law gave me for Valentine’s day, and its still lovely.  So, I’ve been trying to create a healing mood to my room.  But here’s the problem, the picture doesn’t really match what the real life looks like for me.  My room is a mess, its pretty small, nice but small.  There’s a lot of life crammed in these 4 walls of mine. I’ve got clothes on the floor, and lots of books and papers laying around.

But as I lay here I’m Enjoying the beautiful rose, and trying to enjoy my cup of tea.  Vanessa finally comes in the room, with baby in hand, after many days of not coming in here at all.  This is how the “picture” went:  I dont’ feel well, and Baby Zion is screaming because he wants to see me. He actually throws a fit because he wants to play with me, and Vanessa takes him out.   On the way out the door, he grabs the rose thats on my dresser, and he pulls it so hard that he knocks the rose down. While the rose is going down, so is the vase and it all breaks on the floor.  Smash, broken glass everywhere. Yes, there are rose petals like the picture above, except they are on the floor amidst the broken glass.  Zion leaves with no kiss, and I’m stuck with glass on the floor until the “maid” can come clean it up. Ha.

So much for the beautiful image I had in my mind.  But its real life. Its real people, real flu, real babies, real flowers, real vases, and real LOVE.

A long time ago someone told me this statement:  “Real lives are better than Fairy Tales”.  I did not believe it at the time. I was in a dark place in my life and I just wanted to run off like Cinderella.

I have come to embrace that real LIFE really is better than fairy tales because it has feeling.  It has truth.  It has joy and sadness. It can be felt, even when the feelings at times may be difficult.  But most importantly real life has little chubby baby hands that hold rose petals.

Much of life doesn’t always turn out like we think it will in the “picture in our mind”.  But once we accept what our life is, even in the tough times, I believe we will see that it is better than the alternative.  Fairy Tales are fake, they are not real.

I’m now investing in what is real.  In what is truth.  In what has power to change me from the inside out.

I hope if you are not still waiting for your fairy tale to come true, that you will EMBRACE your life in a new way.  Don’t wait for someone to save you.  Don’t wait for the happy ending to just happen.  Make your own happy ending.  Embrace this day as a new day, and as a new opportunity to make life what you hope it to be. Because its the only one you have.

“Real life really is better than the Fairy Tales”

Married or Single, there’s something in here for YOU

I find myself this year, pretty much in the same happy space.  Enjoying being content with being single, and enjoying the fact that Valentine’s Day  will not make or break my heart.  The only difference this year, is that I ACTUALLY have a date.  I will be taking  Baby Zion my grandson to breakfast.  What more could a girl want.

Today is a GREAT day to just tell those you love, you love them.  It doesn’t have to be Hallmark, it doesn’t have to be a romantic person, just tell someone you love them.

Hope you enjoy this post.  Happy Valentine’s Day.

Oh Valentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, how I have loved you and hated you.

Do you remember Valentine’s Day as a kid?  You could hardly wait to get to school and do the Valentine “swap”.  We used to make our little valentine holders the day before.  This usually consisted of construction paper, paints and crayons.  We’d take the construction paper, fold it in half to make a pocket, glue or staple it, and then we would decorate it.  My favorite was when we took red construction paper strips and weaved them through the white paper making a “basket” kind of look.  Then we’d hang them up on the wall, and we would do the exchange.  As I got older, I got even more excited.  Because I was always secretly hoping the boy I had a crush on would be putting a little extra something special on my card.  Maybe one of those hearts that said “I love you”.  Oh, it was such fun, especially if it turned out I like I had hoped it would.  And P.S., it seldom did.

I’m not sure there is any holiday that brings such romantic emotion to the human soul as Valentine’s Day.   If you are in a relationship,  your partner (i.e., spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend) is supposed to shower you with their love and let you know EXACTLY how they feel about you.  If you are single, you cry because you don’t “got nobody to love”.  It’s all about what you think you’re gonna get for Valentine’s Day. And  I would guess that there will be a whole bunch of people disappointed today.

This day has somehow turned into a RECEIVING day, and not a GIVING day.  We spend all our time thinking about what we are going to Get.  Is “he” going to remember?  Is “he” going to live up to my expectation?  Am I going to get to be the girl in the office who gets the big bouquet of roses?  Truth is, it is a Lovely Day to tell others how you feel about them.  But, it in no way should really have any major impact on the emotional state of our being.

I think I’ve done Valentine’s Day every way possible.  I’ve been showered with gifts and I’ve cried for hours for lack of said gifts.  I’ve had flowers and I have had NO flowers.  I’ve been “wined and dined”, and I’ve been forgotten.  I have felt loved, and I have felt rejected.  In the last 10 years I think I could write the book about Valentine’s Day.   It seems there has always been some romantic attachment going on , whether it be good or bad, hopeful or sad, real or imaginary, there’s always been some guy to think about.

This year I like Valentine’s Day in a new way.  I’m not waiting to see what I get.  This year I was so excited to make Kai gluten free cookies.  I loved tucking Austin’s Valentine’s card in his lunch along with his favorite Dark Chocolate.  I can’t tell you how wonderful it was to send Zion (the new grandson soon to be born),  lots of cute socks with puppy dog tales, and blue and white stripes.  Oh, and I finally remembered to buy a card for my mom out in CA., and for the first year I think she just might get it on time.  It’s not that I don’t give little gifts every year, because I do.  But this year, there is NO anticipation of what I might receive from that special someone, and it feels liberating.     This year, it’s ENOUGH, more than enough to know that I am giving and that’s all I need.

I have to be honest though, I did buy myself something.   I’m no longer waiting for someone else to make me happy;  I have the ability and the strength to be grateful for who I am,  and I am grateful and happy to be Alive.

I bought MYSELF some flowers. Don’t get me wrong, I hope someday that I will get flowers sent to me again.  But,   I don’t want to spend any more hours waiting for Mr. Right, while I’m with Mr. Wrong.

Be of Good Cheer.  This day does not tell you who you are.  It does not even mean that you are not loved, even if it feels you are not. I know there is often hurt attached.  I know it is hurtful to watch someone you love be with someone else. I know that you may wish you were in a relationship.  I know that it can feel lonely. But, I also know that we have the power to love ourselves with a love that we have never known.  I know that the real love begins with us.  And this is a perfect day to begin to know who you are inside out.

If you are in a relationship and you feel neglected, lonely, or miserable maybe today would be a good day to stop thinking about what you are NOT getting, and write down some things that you ARE getting.  You might be surprised to find more things that you are getting than you remember.  If I could do one thing over in my marriage of 23 years, I have to be vulnerable and say………I wish I had spent more time tallying up the good things instead of all the bad things my partner did. Maybe your partner is waiting to see what YOU are going to give him/her.  Maybe you need to be the giver today and NOT just the receiver.

Jesus said “love your neighbor as yourself”.  I believe it so strongly.  Love who you are.  Don’t wait for someone to tell you how great you are.  Believe it for YOU.  Own it for YOU.  And NOW…….

Now Go out and buy yourself some flowers if you haven’t received any.

or,

take your baby grandson to breakfast,

or,

get a pedicure, manicure, or anything else that YOU feel you need today.

or,

Maybe you can be lucky enough to sit home, get the remote, and watch a great movie.

With love,

Carolyn

I am hoping by now, if you are following me, you are beginning to see that EVERY Monday I greet you with TEA TIME.  Every Monday, I’m showing up in your inbox as a NEW POST from CAROLYN’S TEA TIME.

I am enjoying starting my Monday mornings by greeting you, and sharing a few moments with you. I sit here at my laptop drinking a warm cup of tea.  Today I am drinking Chai Tea.  I boil the water with an electric tea pot, put two bags of TAZO Organic Chai in my cup of choice (which varies every day), and I then add about 1/4 cup of Half/Half (yes you heard that correctly), and 2 Splenda.  Yeah, I know, its quite a treat.  My absolute favorite, is English Breakfast or Tetley Black British Blend.  I get such joy when my kids drink my Tetley tea, their first sip, and they always say “oh, that feels like home”.  No matter how they try to make the same, they say it never turns out like I make it.  That brings me more joy than you can know.

Now, that is a pretty simple JOY wouldn’t you say.  That my kids drink my tea, and it makes them feel at home. I do LOVE the simple pleasures of life.

My Monday’s are like everybody elses’s Monday.  I laugh sometimes, and I think that my readers must, at times, think I’m Miss Polly Anna.  Always trying to look at the bright side of things.  I’m the one always saying Be of Good Cheer today is a good day.  Choose how your want your day to be.  And yet, in the end I struggle the same as you, as we all do.  We look at our day and we feel tired from the weekend, or we feel like its just another week of the grind.

After 2 1/2  years of being laid up with multiple breaks in my leg, after a bad accident , I know about pain, I know about disappointment and feeling lost, and I also know when its ok to to NOT be in a good mood.  I know when its ok to Choose to grieve your life, or to be in a “funk”.  I call those times, (when we are struggling with life in a harsh way) free passes.  That’s a whole new blog about the times that I believe we NEED to be in a funk, we NEED to be sad, we NEED to own our own circumstances and be sad and frustrated with them.

Today, this Monday Morning, I am talking about us CHOOSING how we want our day to go.  I’m talking about how we can really ultimately CHOOSE how we want our life to go, one day at a time.  I am NOT Miss PollyAnna by any means.  And I am NOT always cheerful.  But, I AM a woman that was changed forever from a bad accident, and now view all the days differently.

I am a woman, whom now knows, that the greatest JOY I can receive is having my children drink tea from a mug and say “it tastes like home”.   And I do know that today is a new day.  Its Monday.  The beginning of a new work week, or maybe its the ending of a work week.  Mondays always have a certain bad rap.  Really today should be NO different than any other day.

Its a NEW DAY.  And I get to CHOOSE how I want it to go down.

Today, I’m drinking my tea, remembering all the mornings, the afternoons, and the precious times I have shared tea with friends and family.  I am loving the people in my life.  Thats how I want to start my Monday.  How do you want to start yours?

If you are reading this, and its Tuesday, all the better.  You can read all of this, and insert the EXACT same message.  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday………its all the same.  CHOOSE the way you want your day to go, and be Glad in it.  ”Rejoice, and again I say Rejoice”.

Happy Monday,

Carolyn

HAPPY MONDAY!

I’m wondering how your weekend was?  This was a big weekend for all of the Super Bowl fans.  Lots of parties, lots of activity, and I’m thinking that you might be a bit tired today.  

Mondays can be tough, especially after a Super Bowl weekend.  So….what is the remedy to this?

Well, in my experience here are the options?

1.  Complain

2. Complain even more

3.  Wish the day away

4.  Complain a bit more

5.  Go back to bed and call in sick

6.  Be in a bad mood all day

7.  Have a goal to just somehow make it through the day

8.  Eat comfort good (like you didn’t eat enough yesterday?)

9.  Dream about a vacation

OR

 #10–THE BEST ANSWER

JUST BE GLAD YOU AREN’T TOM BRADY TODAY

The funny thing is that I don’t even follow football, so all my friends that are reading this are shocked that I even know his name, because a year ago I didn’t.

Life is all about perspective isn’t it?  I certainly hope that even Tom Brady will be able to see that this can be a good day if he chooses to make it one. In the midst of being tired, or discouraged, or totally wiped out, we can still choose to make our day better by choosing something good.

For me, this morning, I sat and pondered God. I thought about God.  I thought about how hard it is to figure out who this God is.  Who is it that I pray to.  I don’t have answers. But I do, always, have a sense of peace and calmness that, somehow, reaches deep inside me when I meditate on God.

I pray that this Monday will be more than a BAD DAY for you.  I pray that somehow in the midst of your Monday blues, you will ponder a God that loves you.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have PEACE. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world”.

John 16:33

 

Today was a beautiful day in Indiana.  My Gypsy Living has brought me back to  Indiana for a spell.  I spent a month in Florida over the holidays. To say the weather was beautiful in FL would be putting it mildly. 

But, today, its all about Indiana, and it really is beautiful. I’ve had to laugh quite a bit this past week, because everyone keeps going on and on about the beautiful weather here in Indiana.  Myself included.  Truth is we are all excited because it has been an unusually warm winter, such as often 50-55 degrees outside.  Mind you, its still very dull, grey, and not exactly inviting. But, its warmer than average, thus, it meaning it is beautiful weather. 

But, today, we were told there would be a high of 58, and it was sunny outside.  It was a PERFECT day to take the little Z on a walk.  I was so excited, I haven’t really been out for a walk with him in months.

We walked to a park, a really pretty park.  Well, let me say, in the Fall with the beautiful leaves it is spectacular.  When there is snow in the winter it is spectacular, and in the summer when it is green it is spectacular.  Today, not so much beauty.  But, we have sun, that is the important piece here.  And besides, ducks, and streams of water are always beautiful no matter what. 

I bundled up Baby Z, and we walked, and we walked, and we walked some more, enjoying every minute.

The whole path was over 2 miles, which is a long ways for me, (yay).   Since my accident 2 years ago my leg has not been too mobile. I really push myself hard to get out there and work it.  I still have pain, and my body hurts, but I am determined.  

Along the way I started feeling kind of cold, and I was thinking maybe I really am a floridian snob.  Maybe I have become one of those that can’t stand a bit of chill in the air. I certainly hoped not.  

I kept noticing that others had ear muffs on, and were far more bundled  than I was.  Baby Z was all toasty warm in his blankets and his favorite giraffy blankie, but I was really starting to feel cold on my nose, even though my body was warm from the fast walking.

I decided to see how cold it really was.  So I checked my IPHONE.  Wow, low and behold it was 41 outside.  It REALLY was cold.  I wasn’t a prissy floridian after all;  I was actually a hoosier who didn’t dress accordingly and I trusted the weatherperson. (All I wore was a long sleeve t-shirt, with a light padded vest over it).

QUESTION:  If I had known it was only 41 degress outside, would I have taken Baby Z on this beautiful walk.   ANSWER:  NO. I would not have gone.  Would have thought, “oh, thats just a bit too cold for Baby Z (which is a joke, because he’s bundled and doesn’t care), but it would have been a great excuse to just stay cozy inside.  Just think of what I would have missed.  I loved walking.  I loved the fresh air.  I loved watching Zion take it all in.  I loved the exercise, I rejoiced the whole way that I was able to walk.  I loved feeling free, and getting clear in my head.  I would have missed all of this and more.  And I would have missed it because I would have thought it was too tough to do in 41 degree weather.

It  made me realize how much good stuff I miss out on because I “think” its going to be too hard, or I “think” I know how its going to be.  My fears get the best of me.  What if I went through life and I wasn’t so afraid.  I think sometimes the statement:  “ignorance is bliss” just may not always be so bad. We are far more capable than we think we are, we are stronger than we think we are, and we are able to endure far more than we could ever imagine, if we only push ourselves a bit more.

The whole walk I kept thinking I was a bit more winded than I thought I should be, I was beating myself up that I felt a certain fatigue, and I was disappointed in my physical state. Funny how quickly things changed when I saw 41.  All of a sudden I felt like a trooper; I felt like someone that was really pushing through to enjoy a nice winter walk.  I felt like I was one smart grandma for taking her grandson out for some fresh air.  

Think about all the experiences you miss out on for FEAR of what you perceive to be too tough.  Go take a walk and enjoy the weather, even if its cold.  Walk through your challenges with BOLDNESS.  And stay warm while you are doing it.  The result if far better than you can imagine.

HAVE YOU EVER FELT REJECTED?

(of course you have, we all have)

This is a story about Dogs.  I hope you like dogs as much as I do.  To be honest, this isn’t a story about dogs, its really about YOU and me.  Well, kind of.  Its all about love, and rejection, and loss. Oh, just read on, you’ll see.

This is about Sandy, our dog. I had gotten Sandy right after my divorce, because Mr. Rogers always said that a puppy is a good idea for children during a divorce.   Austin was 5, Adam was 14, and Vanessa who was 18, was out of the house, and  was always allergic so we could never have one before.  So, NOW was the time to get a puppy.

Adam’s friend raised dachshunds, and we were so thrilled because that was the breed  we wanted. He came over one day and said you can have this dog for $50 if you want her, but she is “flawed”, and thats why she is so cheap.  She had a herniated belly button, and therefore was seen as flawed.  I whipped out $50 bucks so fast, and she was ours, just like that.  She had immediately taken to Austin, and we loved her like she was a new baby in the house.  We all fought over who would sleep with her.  We would wrap her with blankets, kiss her to the point of almost gross, and we often all ended up sleeping together so we could just love on Sandy.  If that sounds sick, well, then you don’t get the “dog” thing.  But hang with me here.

Sandy was like our “constant”.  She had been with us for over 8 years, through thick and thin.  She was with us through 5 houses, 2 states and lots and lots of changes.  She was our healer through some tough times.

She died without notice, and we were shocked, and we were all devastated. I personally felt such a loss.   After several months, it became apparent that it was time to allow a new dog in our lives, it was time to, not replace Sandi, but to let a new dog be part of our family again.  The search was on, and I had no money to invest, but it had to be a dachshund and they are expensive.

The “shopping” experience took me to going on line and looking for rescue dogs.  I was so excited that we could rescue a dog from a bad home environment, and we could love on that dog like we did Sandi.  I thought it was a win win.  UNTIL……..

The process began.  The application, the interview, the interrogation, the questioning, the horrible horrible experience.  I can’t even begin to tell you what all happened.  When I got the call to be interviewed, I actually thought it was all a big formality.  Something they had to do.  It turned out the were SERIOUS about this.  The questions were insane, and I felt completely devalued as a person.They started asking me how I take care of my dog. I told them lots of things, that we loved our dogs like family, etc. etc.  Then they started asking about how I took care of the dogs teeth, and did I EVER miss one vet visit, and how often throughout the day did I take the dog out, and was it on a schedule, and had I EVER let the dog go outside without a leash?  I felt completely like I was on trial.

The BOTTOM LINE:  I was rejected.  I was told that I was an unfit dog owner. An unfit dog owner? Were they completely crazy, insane, out of the their minds.  I had men break up with me because they thought I loved my dog more than them.  Are you kidding?  I was told I was UNFIT. I was REJECTED.

I can’t tell you how horrible I felt about this. It seriously upset me!!! And there was nothing I could do. All I knew is that my kids had to have a dog, and I spent my last savings to buy one. We bought BUSTER, and he is the light of all our lives to this day.  Such a blessing to have him.  But the pain of being rejected to adopt a dog was very very hurtful.

This is such a TINY example of how when we are rejected, or how we feel unloved,  it makes us feel we are NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  I could so easily have believed them.  I mean after all, what kind of dog owner was I that didn’t brush Sandi’s teeth on a regular basis.  Who was I that let her walk without a leash occasionally.

But the truth is, deep down, I KNEW, I KNEW, I KNEW, that I loved that dog as much as I could love anyone that is not human.  I loved that dog as much as I probably love SOME humans, for that matter. I loved Sandi so much, that we bought a little coffin, had a funeral, and had a beautiful cross made for her in my garden.  I WAS A GOOD MOTHER.  And there was nobody that was gonna take that away from me.

When we start believing the “lies” that others say about us, when we start feeling not good about ourselves, when we have no clue who we really are because of our feelings of rejection, that’s when we know we are in deep trouble.  Thats when we know that we have let the power of other’s words be more important than they should be. When we begin to feel very “flawed”, then its time to EXPLORE who you are.

Sandi is a perfect example of love and redemption.  She was “flawed”.  She was not perfect in the dog world.  She was “less than”.  We never loved such an imperfect dog so much.  Who in the world cares if her belly button is an “outty”, except those that are looking for perfection.  We are NOT PERFECT but we are wonderful.  We are NOT always who we want to be, but we are beautiful.  We may have some things to work on, but we are MORE THAN we could ever ever imagine.  And no dog rescue adoption agency was going to tell me otherwise.

I pray that you have a “knowing” of who you are.  I pray that you KNOW you are more than people tell you, or others have wanted you to believe.

If you do NOT know that you are wonderful, beautiful, and lovely, then I encourage you to seek coaching with me.  My life’s work is to help women, like you, KNOW who they are from the inside out.

All I know is that I AM a GOOD DOG MOTHER and BUSTER is thrilled to have me as his momma, and to have all his siblings.

 GO to the links above, and learn

about how COACHING with me 

May help YOU.

]]> http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/01/tea-time-with-carolyn-rejection/feed/ 4 http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/01/317/ http://carolyngillcoaching.com/2012/01/317/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:10:33 +0000 carolyn http://carolyn.neighborhosting.com/?p=317

PERFECTION IS NOT AS PERFECT AS ONE MIGHT THINK 

(that actually feels perfect)

Smiley Face

This post was originally dated one year ago. But I loved it, so I share again.

To begin with, I have posted this picture of me, with NO makeup, so as to really continue to work on my perfectionism, and just let some things go. (You know I tend to be truly interested in those pictures of all the celebrities without makeup.  And for some reason, they still look gorgeous, and I always think, wow, they look great.  I do not have that same sentiment of my raw face here, but its mine, as imperfect as it may be.)

I didn’t know I was such a perfectionist.  I really didn’t.  People that know me will see that my car can be a mess, my clothes can be all over the floor, and my dishes I will allow occasionally to pile in the sink.  I will go to the store with no make up on, and I don’t really care if you see (well, that may not be totally true), but the truth is, I allow myself to have flaws, and I thought I was pretty good about accepting things.

This past year has been an interesting year for me.  I have learned alot about myself.  The fact that I am a perfectionist is somewhat new to me.  I seriously didn’t know I had it that badly.

After I fell from the attic down 10′ I laid on the concrete slab below me.  I knew I broke my leg, I heard it snap when I fell.  I laid there kind of numb waiting for the guys outside to come and find me.  I was in the middle of moving, and the movers were literally in the driveway waiting for me to come out of the house so we could move my stuff inside.  As I laid there my mind was somewhat foggy, but it felt very clear to me at the time.  I was certain that if these guys could just help me get up and put me in a chair on the side we could go to the hospital later.  All I kept saying in my head was “I don’t have time for this”.  I didn’t have time to be dealing with a broken leg, I had a whole house of furniture in trucks on the outside.  How in the world would I be able to get done what needed to be done.  I had no idea how I could do it.  So I had come up with a plan that would work.  I would sit on the sidelines, direct traffic, tell them where I wanted the furniture, where I wanted that special little table to go, and that cute little lamp to sit, and then I’d go to the hospital.  I mean what did it matter, what would a bit of time matter.

As I got onto the gurney to enter the ambulance, I was immediately struck in awe that what had just happened to me was not just a little “something”, but that in fact it was pretty serious. And there was nobody who was “buying” my idea that I could just sit on the sidelines and direct traffic.  The EMT guy was so sweet, he immediately looked at me and said “do you have any idea how lucky you are?”  Most people do not come out of it without some major spinal cord injury, or major facial trauma and even death.  You better thank your lucky stars he said, and be glad you are alive.  I knew from that minute on that I had been spared for something. I also knew that I was in for a rude awakening if I thought that I was gonna just get back to business as usual.

When I arrived from the hospital my house had been “moved into”. It was a total disaster.  There were boxes everywhere, and stuff thrown here and there.  I was completely overwhelmed with all that had just happened.  Somewhere deep down through my drugs and the pain I suspected that I would be learning some life changing lessons in the next months to come.  Little did I know it would be months and months and months, and the lessons haven’t stopped.

Within the first week I realized that I truly was a perfectionist.  I laugh now, but I was very serious about my “letting go”, about my “learning”, and about seeing this time as a good time to “be still”.  I quickly became obsessed with being the BEST “letting goer” there ever was.  My mission was to become the BEST at being still, the best at being a learner, and the best at BEING.  Now if that isn’t a perfectionist I don’t know what is.  I seriously wanted to be the BEST at the experience.

Well, 14 months later, I have learned that all along the way I have tried my hardest to be perfect.  To do my recovery in a perfect way, to do it how I thought would be the best.  I wanted to make sure that my blog that I was working on was perfect before I launched it.  I have tried writing a book for years, because I can’t quite seem to make it perfect.  There are some things I let go of, and there are other things that I have become so relentless in being perfect that it has stifled my growth, it has slowed me down, and it has prevented me from moving forward.

At the last minute I have tried to jump ship on this blog because it wasn’t “ready”.  It didn’t have all the bells and whistles I wanted it to have.  It wasn’t quite tweaked enough.  So months and months go by.  And pretty soon I am aware that this has been a pattern in so much of my professional world.  I always want the perfect marketing piece, or I want to make sure that I have the most creative titles, etc. etc.  You name it, I’m sure I’ve thought it.

I’m sure that you can relate.  So……what’s the answer.  I don’t have one.  I only have the acknowledgement.  And today, I’m fully engaged with my acknowledgement.  And i”m excited.  Because I think half the battle is in the KNOWING.  I am AWARE.  So now when I find myself procrastinating, or trying to let my fear of “it” being perfect get in the way I am able to stop myself and just proceed.

I’m not sure how I want to end this. My mind is relentlessly trying to end this with the perfect ending, the perfect antidote, the perfect answer for you, and I don’t have it.  All I have is the recognition that I want to quit trying to be SO DARN PERFECT.  I want to do my best, and let it be.  Well, maybe there are times its even ok if I don’t have time to do my best, but my efforts, as big or small as they may be, are perfect.

That’s it, it’s not perfect, it’s raw and it’s me being Carolyn.  The End.

P.S. I am aware there are some grammatical errors here and there, and guess what, I’ve decided to leave them.  This is unedited, just typed as I thought.  It’s not perfect, but……so what.  It’s the real deal.

HAPPY MONDAY

May you feel this prayer today

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May today there be peace within. 
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. 
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. 
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that 
has been given to you. 
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to 
sing, dance, praise and love. 
It is there for each and every one of us.. 

The Snow is beginning to fall this morning.  Its a beautiful snow.  This was just the beginning.

  There’s nothing like a clean, fresh and new snow.

Since I am a Gypsy right now, this snow is really fun for me,  I’ve beeen living in FL the past 8 years.  And they all think I’m crazy for loving the snow.  But, you have to admit snow falling from the sky, making everything white really is charming, and beautiful.  And I am ALL ABOUT charming and beautiful.

Speaking of charming and beautiful, check this little guy out.  I get to spend the day with him, on this beautiful fresh fallen snow day.

Living a Gypsy Life can get tiring. I’m living out of suitcases right now, choosing to live a different kind of life for a bit.  I’m helping take care of my precious grandson ZION.

Life is funny.  Here I am the grandma, and I’m getting the golden opportunity to be with Zion right now.  Here he is tugging at my legs while I write this.  I remember the days so well, when I was the stay at home momma, and my kids tugged at my legs.  Sometimes I have a hard time enjoying this moment because my daughter Vanessa wishes they were her legs that he was tugging.  And, to be honest, I have a full time coaching business, and at times it doesn’t fit into my schedule.  But, for now this works for everyone. And, I have to admit, I think I’m the better for it.

Today I woke up feeling a bit unorganized.  My clothes are all over the floor since returning from FL for the holidays.  My lap top is still in the shop, and so I’m borrowing a computer that I’m not as comfortable with.  I am choosing a Gyspy Life right now, with no permanent home, car or real office.  There are more than a few times, I wake up and I say “what the heck are you doing”? Then it Snows, then Zion shows off his new teeth and grins from ear to ear.   Then I KNOW exactly what I’m doing.

The snow reminds me that there are Seasons of weather.  Zion’s new teeth remind me that there are Seasons in life as well.  Being a Gypsy, and a grandma has allowed me to enjoy both of these Seasons today.

I don’t want to miss a thing.  I don’t want to judge my day by how much I accomplished. .  That is not to say we don’t need to accomplish things.  But, I want to enjoy my season of being a Gypsy, just like Zion is enjoying his new bottom front teeth.  I want to be proud of the lesser obvious things. I want to sincerely start judging my days by what I OBSERVED, by who I LOVED, by how PRESENT I was, and did I EMBRACE it all.

It has taken me about 90 minutes to write this.  It had just started to snow, Zion was crawling all over me, having such a good time, showing off his teeth, picking dust balls off the floor and standing tall.

Now look what has changed in 1 hour.

Did I LOVE today?

Did I OBSERVE today?

Was I PRESENT today?

Did I EMBRACE today?

ENOUGH SAID

IT ALL CHANGES IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE